My Evolved Life w/ Vu Nguyen

My Evolved Life | Episode #10 - Cinder Smith | Don't Fear Your Emotions

January 29, 2020 Vu Nguyen / Cinder Smith Episode 10
My Evolved Life w/ Vu Nguyen
My Evolved Life | Episode #10 - Cinder Smith | Don't Fear Your Emotions
What is mental health?
The impact of social media on mental health
Comfortable vs. uncomfortable emotions
How do you start to better understand your emotions?
The difference between mood and emotion
What is psychology really like?
What are the tell tale signs that someone needs help?
How to communicate with children about mental health
Where does the stigma around emotions come from?
Who are the first people to talk to when you feel like you need help?
How do we get ahead of mental health and when is the right time to seek help?
How do you regulate your emotions?
Can we stop characterizing emotions as "male" or "female"?
What are the things you can do to positively influence your mental health?
How do we stop caring what other people do and achieve?
Does perspective influence mental health?
My Evolved Life w/ Vu Nguyen
My Evolved Life | Episode #10 - Cinder Smith | Don't Fear Your Emotions
Jan 29, 2020 Episode 10
Vu Nguyen / Cinder Smith

On today's episode, I have an eye-opening conversation with Cinder Smith, a registered psychologist, about mental health. We got into fascinating topics like the difference between mood and emotion, how to use your emotions as data, and why we shouldn't avoid our emotions.

5:41 - What is mental health?
8:04 - The impact of social media on mental health
11:40 - Comfortable vs. uncomfortable emotions
15:31 - How do you start to better understand your emotions?
18:55 - The difference between mood and emotion
21:41 - What is psychology really like?
23:36 - What are the tell tale signs that someone needs help?
26:07 - How to communicate with children about mental health
29:40 - Where does the stigma around emotions come from?
34:39 - Who are the first people to talk to when you feel like you need help?
36:41 - How do we get ahead of mental health and when is the right time to seek help?
39:17 - How do you regulate your emotions?
42:38 - Can we stop characterizing emotions as "male" or "female"?
45:19 - What are the things you can do to positively influence your mental health?
51:54 - How do we stop caring what other people do and achieve?
55:23 - Does perspective influence mental health?


Cinder Smith is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She graduated from the University of Lethbridge with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology, and then moved back to her home town, Calgary, where she completed her Master in Counseling Psychology Degree.

Cinder’s internship and residency was completed at Calgary Counseling Centre, as well as in a private practice setting. She is also a member of the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta, and offers a lot of her time volunteering for various events for the Association.

Cinder has been working in the areas of assessment, consultation, and therapy with individuals for over 12 years in various roles and environments including non-profit and private practice settings, family medicine clinics, hospitals, forensic, employee assistance programs, and university institutions. Cinder believes taking care of one’s mental health is as important as taking care of ones physical health! When she isn’t working, Cinder enjoys spending her time with her family, kids, and friends. She is a former ballet trained dancer for over 15 years and currently stays active running, lifting weights and is also a fitness instructor.

Cinder is also a major sports fanatic, she loves to cook, and is known to have a spunky sense of humour!

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

On today's episode, I have an eye-opening conversation with Cinder Smith, a registered psychologist, about mental health. We got into fascinating topics like the difference between mood and emotion, how to use your emotions as data, and why we shouldn't avoid our emotions.

5:41 - What is mental health?
8:04 - The impact of social media on mental health
11:40 - Comfortable vs. uncomfortable emotions
15:31 - How do you start to better understand your emotions?
18:55 - The difference between mood and emotion
21:41 - What is psychology really like?
23:36 - What are the tell tale signs that someone needs help?
26:07 - How to communicate with children about mental health
29:40 - Where does the stigma around emotions come from?
34:39 - Who are the first people to talk to when you feel like you need help?
36:41 - How do we get ahead of mental health and when is the right time to seek help?
39:17 - How do you regulate your emotions?
42:38 - Can we stop characterizing emotions as "male" or "female"?
45:19 - What are the things you can do to positively influence your mental health?
51:54 - How do we stop caring what other people do and achieve?
55:23 - Does perspective influence mental health?


Cinder Smith is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She graduated from the University of Lethbridge with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology, and then moved back to her home town, Calgary, where she completed her Master in Counseling Psychology Degree.

Cinder’s internship and residency was completed at Calgary Counseling Centre, as well as in a private practice setting. She is also a member of the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta, and offers a lot of her time volunteering for various events for the Association.

Cinder has been working in the areas of assessment, consultation, and therapy with individuals for over 12 years in various roles and environments including non-profit and private practice settings, family medicine clinics, hospitals, forensic, employee assistance programs, and university institutions. Cinder believes taking care of one’s mental health is as important as taking care of ones physical health! When she isn’t working, Cinder enjoys spending her time with her family, kids, and friends. She is a former ballet trained dancer for over 15 years and currently stays active running, lifting weights and is also a fitness instructor.

Cinder is also a major sports fanatic, she loves to cook, and is known to have a spunky sense of humour!

spk_0:   0:03
platforms like this where we're talking about it more, um, educating people about the usefulness of emotion. If we understand it. From what what I said earlier about it being data, then it's not this elusive. Weird. I don't know what emotions are if you have them your week, which don't get me going on that, um, but understanding it is data. Then we move into a position where it's very, very empowering.

spk_1:   0:37
You're listening to my evolved life. Ah, pi Casta simplifies health and fitness and helps you maximize your life. My name is Vienna Win, and I'm the creator of the evolution trading system. We're so lucky to be living in the information age meeting. It's easier than ever to access information and find answers to any questions you may have. But is that a confusing when you read information that's conflicting or worse yet, just sounds wrong. I'll be sitting down with industry professionals to give you clarity and leave you with tangible actions you can take immediately to improve your physical, mental and psychological health. Okay, today's guest is Senator Smith Center is a registered psychologist with a master's in counseling psychology. Sender is also a member of the Psychologist Association of Alberta. She believes that taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. And she also believes that everybody has the inherent capacity for growth learning in connection. Yes, she is a true true advocate for mental health. So with that, welcome to the show.

spk_0:   1:49
Thank you for having me. And I'm very happy and excited to be here.

spk_1:   1:52
I can see that you're glowing already. We have to start talking about, right? Yes. So, the other day, when you and I were talking, I could literally feel the enthusiasm through the phone. Where did this passion for psychology and mental health begin? Where did that journey start?

spk_0:   2:09
Oh, boy. So, um, I actually went to school originally to become a teacher. And during that process, in my undergraduate degree, I got to take a whole bunch of electives and I chose psychology. And during that process, I started to really get curious about human behavior because it's everywhere. And I fell in love with psychology, with neuro psychology of development of the brain, um, interactions with other people. And I took a giant leap of faith and changed my major from bachelor of education to a bachelor's in psychology and and here I am. And I've been practicing Nuffer about 13 and 1/2 years, and I continue to love what I do. And I'm just so grateful to be here to share my passion and to hopefully teach people a little bit more about mental health and the value and importance of it.

spk_1:   3:06
So when you say taking a leap of faith was that based on something,

spk_0:   3:11
it was based on this so pop psychology these days. Talks of our intuition are intuitive, self, and I had this Spidey sense that just got louder and louder. The more I progressed in my studies, and that was my leap of faith to say, You know what? I'm going to do this, and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with it. Undergrad in psychology, right? But I'm going to do it. And then I knew after that I was gonna need to pursue more education, and I just I I love it. Everybody knows somebody who has mental health in their life, whether it's a friend or family. Um, it's everywhere and I just have such a huge passion in learning about it and more so in teaching about it, and even further to that also helping the people

spk_1:   3:59
that I work with, so just trusting her yet. And sure enough, 13 years later, here you are, right,

spk_0:   4:04
that's exactly it.

spk_1:   4:06
So can you tell us a little bit about what counselling psychology is?

spk_0:   4:10
Yes, So it is basically Oh, that's a hard question to answer, but I'm gonna try to summarize, um, about learning somebody's background. It's about learning where they are currently, and what is the presenting issue that's bringing them in for treatment at that time? People are very complex and come from a myriad of backgrounds. And so, um, the counseling process is exactly that. It's a process, and it takes time, and it takes the right stage of change in order to really help someone with their growth and and do some healing work. If that's required, sometimes it's it's just learning a new tool or technique, learning a style of communication, learning howto have healthier boundaries. There's just so much to it, and counseling really is just a process of helping someone through their journey and through their struggle. You

spk_1:   5:06
know, we the fact that we are such complex beings is probably a fact that we don't appreciate enough. We think there's always black and white. There's so much more than Barry, as such as the fact with mental health. Yes. Now, when I first reached out to you, there was a lot of reason behind it. Mental health is something that comes up on the show or on social media. What would have you? It comes up all the time nowadays, Yes, but to get the opinion of a professional in the field, it carries it will carry a lot of weight. Very, very important. Yeah. So with that being said from the ice, from the perspective of a professional, how would you define mental health?

spk_0:   5:47
Oh, boy, it was a really tough question. Um, mental health has many components to it. One of the ways that I like to teach people about it is is is how you're living your life, functional or not, because seldomly is it in the middle or gray. Um, it is about having joy in your life. It's about having balance in your life. Mental health is about having access to healthy supports in your world were neural Bali. Excuse me? No neuro biologically wired to be connected as humans, even the biggest introverts of the world. We're wired for that. And so it's kind of grouping all of those together, looking at your physical health, your financial health, your relational, healthier social supports, Um, and kind of combining all of that together to really capture How well or unwell is somebody doing now? One of the things I say to people is you know, you go and you see your family, Doctor, if you have, you know, sore throat or a cold or something that won't go away, they kind of look you and they assess you and they write you a prescription for whatever that thing is, and you leave and go along your merry way. So they're trained to be able to assess you and look at you and figure out what you need for your sore throat, right? And I talk about that similarly to mental health is that I'm trained to see it. So when someone comes and sees me and sits in front of me, I'm already capturing a bit of a lens that I can see just by looking at them. How well are unwell. They're doing so Yeah, it's but that's taken a lot of understood practice and a lot of education to kind of get there. So mental health is, in essence, how somebody is doing in their life emotionally relational e and psychologically

spk_1:   7:42
such a A big picture perspective, right? As not just any one individual components. Now, you mentioned the word connection quite a bit. I think the word connection. It tends to be lost on us nowadays because social media gives us a perception of connection because you know what everybody is up to, right? Right. So what is your stance on social media and how it affects the present state of mental health at large

spk_0:   8:09
at large? Oh, I might get a lot of flack, and I'm okay with this. It's okay. Um, I dislike it. I dislike the platform that people most not everybody, because there's some really great social media platforms out there. So I'm not gonna say it's awful everywhere, but things like Snapchat, instagram and Facebook, um, can really give people a misperception about someone's life. So I have a word that I use for Facebook and it's fake book because I don't really believe that everybody's putting their honest, unscathed, raw version of themselves out there. They're putting their perfect holiday. They're perfect kids with their perfect outfits. And they're perfect, you know, meal that they put together, and I so in that realm, and I can say for sure in my own practice, people compare themselves on social media and it makes them not feel good. So they feel less than they feel that comparative factor. And and it's a breeding ground for mood related issues, period like, yeah,

spk_1:   9:22
I think that a lot of people will agree with you there. Um, no. You the way that you ah, present it. It's It sounds as though people do show their highlights as opposed to their failures, so to speak. But I also find that they're especially nowadays. It just sounds like I'm saying this so so much nowadays. But mental health is top of mind. We also have people who are airing all of their dirty laundry on social media as well. So you have both sides. Exactly what are your thoughts on that?

spk_0:   9:56
Okay, so if I couldn't just back up. The other piece I would add of when I say fake book versus Facebook is the reality is that life is messy and everybody has hardship, varying degrees of it. Everybody's been through some something that has either forced them to grow and learn and change or has keep them stunted. And so I feel like that is not what gets seen on Social Media because people don't really want to show that stuff, right, Um, but so to come back to your question about, you know, when they do, we could go to two extremes weaken B over here, where it's the perfect beachy holiday and my makeup's perfect that day or over here, where I'm over sharing a lot of hardship and trauma inappropriately. And over there I would say the issue that I would raise in that realm is boundaries and that people who are doing that type of stuff, um I mean, there's lots of things that I could speak to up in terms of where they might be at. But I would be starting at the lack of boundaries that people, um share when they're exposing way too much of themselves. Sometimes it's attention seeking. Sometimes they just want a lot of validation about where they are. Um, but I have to be careful because sometimes that's a really big cry for help. There are times where people are sharing some really big raw stories about themselves that, um, they're really, really looking for someone to say, Are you OK? And so yeah, so my answer is kind of gray, because in my world, I kind of live there. But does that make sense?

spk_1:   11:33
It makes absolute sense. Yeah, One of the things that I really enjoyed about our conversation was you make such a clean distinction that there aren't good and bad emotions. You talk about comfortable versus uncomfortable emotions. He break that down. Elaborate on

spk_0:   11:53
that I'd love to. So I I have a lot of people in my practice who are very linear and logical thinkers, and I needed a way to explain emotion, to explain feelings to them, to help help them make sense out of what was going on for them. So I love talking about this great. So there are there is a belief system out there on, and other people in my field potentially who talk about feelings and emotions as being right or wrong or good or bad. And I came up with the idea of them being comfortable. Emotions versus uncomfortable emotions. So comfortable emotions are these joy Happy content piece loved, needed desired on DSO when we experienced those comfortable emotions because that's what they are, they're more comfy than the other ones. That's giving us data that says, You know what life is working well for. You keep making the decisions. You're making the choices. You're making, the habits you have, the people you're surrounding your swell itself with. Keep doing those things because it's working for you. You're getting a lot of comfortable data back to you. Equally is important to pay attention to the uncomfortable ones, but we don't like to do that as humans. So uncomfortable emotions being depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, worried jealousy, anger, that kind of stuff. And when we experience those feelings, ah, lot of us wanna numb it. We don't want to deal with it. We want to avoid it. We want to retract. We want to do things like drinking drug, you shopping other forms of ways of not feeling it. But that information is equally as important. So when we have uncomfortable emotions, it's giving us data that says, You know what? Life doesn't seem to be working very well for you. Maybe it's your habits. Maybe it's the people you're spending time with, the hobbies or the things that you're engaging in regularly that are leading you to feel more discomfort, more uncomfortable feelings. And so it's important to look at that Another way, which I don't think I mentioned to you on the phone is. I have often talked about feelings or emotions. I use that word interchangeable. I should say, um, that they're like roadsides. So if I leave here today and I'm driving home on deer Foot and you know that kind of yellow diamond shaped sign that says my lane's gonna end in 500 meters emotions are like that. So I can either pay attention to that as I'm driving home. Look at it. See it? Okay, I'm in that lane. I got to get over and go homing or sorry. Get over and go home safely. I get home safe, everything's good or I don't look at it. And if I don't look at it, I might cut someone off. I might miss my turn off. I might not get home safely, so emotions are exactly that. They're either road signs or data, whichever way you want to look at it. But it's giving you information. That's telling you life. See, they're working for you or maybe not working for you, so it's really, really good tool to look at it. So that's why I love talking about feelings and emotions because we all have them. And if we're paying attention to them, we can craft and create a really good life

spk_1:   15:01
the way that you present. That is so interesting, because when we talk about just the same decision making, we either make emotional decisions or logical decisions. When it comes to logic. Logic is based on data, but you pose it as though emotions are data can be data. So what that leads me to believe is the quality of that data is predicated on your ability to interpret it. OK, right? So how do you best put yourself into a position to better understand what you're feeling? Your emotions?

spk_0:   15:38
Okay, so here's an interesting thing. So I've done many talks before, and the kind of my opening statement is, how do we define emotion? So I'm gonna start there because people get that confused and complicated. They will put their hands up of from standing in front of a big audience and say, Oh, it's when you're happy and you're sad. I'm like, Well, it's kind of like trying to describe color we can talk about pink, red, purple, blue, green, blah, blah, blah. But it's really hard to define. What What's the definition of color? So same Same with emotion. It's really hard to define what is an emotion. So I break it down and say It's a combination between, ah, physical response because we have lots of physiology that occurs when we when we feel an emotion on, then it's our cognition. ZZZZ Wells. How it's our interpretation of an event. It's our interpretation of of something or a perspective on things. So someone's someone's happiness can look really, really different than somebody else's happiness. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Yeah, so I talk about is a combo between our physical response when we're when something when we get hooked by something as well as what we're thinking about, that's kind of how I talk about emotion.

spk_1:   16:48
To me, that is a very interesting correlation that you make between emotions and colors. And I share with you the other day my philosophy that one of the things hindering us when it comes to emotions is our lack of vocabulary. There are so many different words to describe your emotions. What you're feeling. However, we are very limited. We used something like six or seven, Angry, Happy said. That's a depressed. But there is a huge, huge spectrum between being depressed and being a little bit under a little bit sad, right? There's a huge special, very much just like there is a huge spectrum between violet and purple.

spk_0:   17:28
There you go. Yeah,

spk_1:   17:29
but because we don't understand that distinction now, personally, I believe that words are incredibly powerful. So the words you associate yourself with our representative of what it is that you're feeling. So even even though you may not be depressed per se but you associate yourself with the word depressed that immediately has very, very bad connotations and can lead you to be actually the press you do with up

spk_0:   17:59
Yes, I D'oh! So you are you talking about how we think about things.

spk_1:   18:03
Yeah, yeah, I think just association in general. So going back to depression, um, an individual may have failed the test. Very simple example. But rather than being sad, they just associate themselves with being depressed because they did something wrong where they jumped to an immediate extreme because they don't know any words in between.

spk_0:   18:32
Yeah, So one of the things And just I love that you just use the word depression because that's the other thing that I think we were getting better, but we need to talk about it more because it's everywhere. It's out there. But the way that I like to talk about having an emotion, the difference between I'm gonna answer your question in a roundabout way. That's okay. Um, the difference between a mood and emotion is very important for me to be able to answer your question. So on emotion, we experienced many every day all day, and that does not, um, correlate to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. People get that messed up a lot, but we can feel excited. We can feel sad. We can feel a little bit bored. We can feel calm so we can have a lot of emotions that we experience in one day, and that's really normal for all of us. Mood is, how often are those ones showing up and sticking around the most? Does that make sense? So getting coming back too comfortable in uncomfortable If if I'm having lots of comfortable ones, my mood is probably generally quite well if I'm experiencing the uncomfortable ones. Generally speaking, I'm gonna have some sort of mood issue popping up, depression being one of those, and anxiety being a very close second. So now coming back to your question is that people like to Well, they don't like to. I shouldn't say that they label themselves sometimes as being depressed. And I really like to separate a person from their mood versus their behavior so I can be hey, vin away. That might be someone. Let mates say, Oh, she looks sad, and that's very different than depression. If I use the analogy of the emotion versus mood, same same so I can have an emotion where I'm feeling sad or I'm having an off day, that doesn't mean that I I'm over here and it's with me, too much, and so it's now my mood. Does that make sense?

spk_1:   20:30
It makes complete sense. So, um to summarize what I'm understanding emotions arm or what you feel not necessarily in the moment, but it's more maybe short term

spk_0:   20:39
there you got.

spk_1:   20:40
Whereas with mood, it is a result of a repetitive powder.

spk_0:   20:44
Yes, it sticks around longer and asked, What is a major major distinction between having an off day having an off week and even you can have an off month? And that's different. I could be just off and sad and lonely and stuff going on versus a mood is how long has that stuff stuck around? And that's where as a psychologist, I really look at symptoms and seeing. Are those symptoms present and how long have they been present? And that's really what distinguishes, you know, kind of down and out and having a bad day or week or month versus it's sticking around longer. And that's gonna look more like depression, right? Yeah,

spk_1:   21:22
So let's take a moment and really talk about what you do. There is a whether it's a myth, misconception, a truth, you tell me. But when you think psychiatrists, what do you think you think lying on a couch have the professional sitting there with a clipboard, being very judgmental or writing everything down? What is your practice like, What do you do? Wanna D'oh!

spk_0:   21:43
Okay, so I'm just gonna, because my professional require me to tiu distinguish that psychiatry is different than psychology. So psychiatry is really more about symptom management and medication. So they our rock stars in their field in terms of really understanding the psychopharmacology of human behavior. My world is more focused on the day to day behavioral stuff and helping people live more functional lives. And I know it sounds so cliche and a little bit cheesy, but I really have a philosophy in my practice. Are you living your best self? And that's not a Maybe it's either. Yes, I am or no, I'm not. And generally speaking, what I say to people when they come into my practice is you're here because something's not working and we need to figure that out together. So the process in in in my practice is around people's functionality. So really assessing that and I get down to brass tacks like, How's your sleep? How's your appetite has your exercise. Who are you supports and then really teasing out. What's the thing that brings you here? What's the thing that isn't working in your life right now? We got to figure that out. And I really in my practice, do a didactic experience, particularly in my first consultation with people to really get a good grasp and pitcher on How well are they doing? Big picture. I don't want to just talk about the thing that brings you in to see me. I want to know all of these other areas because I really believe that people have, um no matter what they're going through, the hardship, it all they have a set of strength. So I tried to tap into that too, right? Yeah.

spk_1:   23:26
So I'm gonna ask you Ah, more difficult question. I believe that people inherently are good and we want to help. But when it comes to mental health, being able to help means that you have the tools to be able to identify when somebody's suffering. Right? So, having dealt with so many clients, you called glance? Yep. What are the telltale signs? The very, very obvious indicators that there may be something wrong. And Big needle.

spk_0:   23:58
Oh, boy. Um, I would come back Thio my previous answer in terms of their functionality. So how are they doing on a day to day regular basis and really looking at, um, yeah, sleep appetite, exercise supports. How are they doing Relation? Aly House, Their their employment, their job, their workplace, their their finances. Um, and a big one that gets missed. And And I ask every single person who comes for first consultation, What do you do for fun? And it's It's funny, but not because if I have a long pause between my question and someone's answer to that, I'm gonna be right there because it's a problem. If you can't access to three quick things that you do for fun in your life, that's problem. Um, so it's really kind of looking at everything. But if I was to, if someone's gonna sit across from me because they're making an appointment, I'm coming back to the doctor analogy to I. Usually it's they wear it, they look like it. They look like they have something bigger going on because again, through 13 years of doing this, I can see when they're getting better in the walk in and we'll sit down. We'll be a little bit lighter. They'll make eye contact with me and just be Maur cognitively engaged in the process. And, yeah, I can literally see that shift in people. So just as much as I can see them when they're not doing well, I can see them when they're doing well as

spk_1:   25:35
well makes the police sense. I do apologize because I'd know that was a tough question, because a lot of people are good at hiding it as well. Yes, and like you said, you have to observe their patterns, their relationships. But that's also predicated on you seeing the person regularly. So unless it's somebody who you're very, very close with and then you see them all the time, it's going to be very hard to pick them apart based on their social media posts. Her what happened

spk_0:   26:03
right? Very much so.

spk_1:   26:05
So you One of the things that we talked about was communicating with Children, communicating the importance of mental health, communicating how they should articulate their emotions.

spk_0:   26:18
Yeah, let's talk about that. Yeah, so we've we've come a long way. I think that Um um Now what is happening in the schools is actually in my neighborhood and a few other schools that I'm attached Thio the discussion about the importance of self regulation emotional regulation in the classroom, and And if there was any wit place and I'm just gonna back up and say that I don't work exclusively with kids because I can't turn it off. So my practice involves adults on Lee and a few adolescence in there just to keep it fun. Yeah, but the little guys, um, that's where we need to be teaching this stuff. If I could put it in classrooms, if I could put it in in the curriculum, that's where I would go in terms of teaching young kids about mental health about emotion, because that's all they are. They live in emotion, and and they do because their frontal lobe of their brains in all school aged Children is still develop developing. And why highlight? That is because that is the part of our brain where we, uh really good problem solvers. We That is where impulse control comes into play. So hence those little toddlers that have their little tensions. But the frontal lobe over brain also allows us to have executive function and good thinking. And so if you imagine that you've got a young child who doesn't have that part of the brain developed yet but has oodles of emotion, you know what to do with that. And so my belief and philosophy about kids and feelings is talk about them, Let them have them, don't shut them down. Were very quick to do that because they can get on my nerves. A za mother. Um, I can say that, and I also think that we have to have oodles of patients to teach kids about emotion, about feeling, but to not take it away. I often say, Be careful that you're not hijacking your little one's feelings because they need to have wth um, they need to learn about them. It's our job as parents to teach that as a psychologist, I think it's even more important because if we can do that with them, we're gonna have We're gonna have a a future of adults who are emotionally intelligent, and I might get some flak for this, too, and I'm okay with it, but I really believe that emotional intelligence supersedes intellectual intelligence. And I said that because we can learn anything, we can go to schools. We can read, we can. We can be taught a whole bunch of stuff. Emotional intelligence, super hard to teach. I mean, I'm still 13 years doing it, and there's still a lot of learnings I'm doing with it, too. But to some extent

spk_1:   29:10
it certainly does. And emotional intelligence is one of those not funny things is very, very important. But I find that when you when we refer to emotional intelligence, we are referring to our ability to understand other people's emotions. But we don't talk enough about understanding our own our own rights. So emotional self intelligence, an emotional self awareness, right? I feel like we're lacking that a lot. Yeah, and maybe because there has such a stigma around emotions, Yeah, where do you think that statement goes from?

spk_0:   29:43
People don't want to talk about those things. They don't talk about that and coming back to social media to that, they want to talk about the comfortable life, the comfortable life where it's happy and easy and blah, blah blood. But we don't I should say we're getting better. Yes, we're getting better. The bell. Let's talk movement has drastically changed our ability to talk about it now, which I love it. And I'm so happy that they have a platform to do that. Um, because when we talk about it more, we dispel a whole bunch of the mist that are around mental health that if you have a mentally so one of them being view of a mental health issue, um, you're in some way broken. Or if you have a mood disorder or even bigger than that, a personality disorder, there's something inherently wrong with you. Whereas I like now we're getting better. We're not where I'd want us to be yet talking about it more and removing, um, labels that keep people in those places. I don't know if I'm really articulating that great, but it's it's the more we talk about it, the more comfortable people get with it. Um, in the last I'd say probably 2 to 5 years celebrities talking more about it. I mean, yes, people sharing with the world, particularly celebrities, because those are ones that I think a lot of people miss perceived that they're doing great and well in life. And they're a lot of them are not

spk_1:   31:21
Anthony Bourdain, though. That was a huge one. Love ish.

spk_0:   31:23
Yes, definitely. And even just, um um the, uh What was that movie that just came out with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper from getting the car? Yes. A star is born. A star is born beautifully represented mental health in general and addiction. And, um, people loved it. People ate that up because that's what's in people's lives. Does that make sense? And so I think the more we talk about it, the more we dispel some of the major major misperceptions about what mental health is all about

spk_1:   32:03
talking about it. No, I may be asking a little bit of a leading question, which I don't mean to do. Um, but talking about it Is there a right way and a wrong way? Like there is, in my opinion, a difference between talking about your emotions and just venting? Yeah. Where do you draw that line?

spk_0:   32:23
That's a really good question. Um, talking about them. So from a a clinical perspective. Poodles of research that supports when we talk about it. Two things from a healing perspective can happen. One is we literally are Externalizing something. So we're taking something from here more importantly, from here and getting it out. There have been many, many times in my practice where someone will say, I feel so much better because now I've said it out loud. So there's that piece and then a kind of a close second to that is when we talk about something we take away. I'm gonna use this funny term, but we take away the scariness of it. So to talk about it, it's like, Let's just throw that out on the table, unpack it, look at it and get riel and raw with it. And lots of people really like that in my in my world. In psychology, we talk about that being normalizing. So when we normalize someone's problem in pain, it dissipates it just a little bit. Now you're right, because on the flip side of that is venting and venting can be healthy and helpful when we do it right, because yes, there's a right way and a wrong way, because when we are doing too much of it, we're we're we're not managing that emotion in the healthy way, if anything were probably fueling it more. Um, the way I like to talk about it in my practice with people is there's a very different, um, method between reacting to an emotion which requires very little, if any cognitive thought versus responding to an emotion right. Responding to emotion requires you to be in it, sit with it, get curious about it, and then think about what is this all about? Where is this coming from? We do a lot of this people to a lot of that and and miss label their emotion or or manage it in a really unhealthy way.

spk_1:   34:23
So again, on the same train of thought talking about it, I know emotions where we've been kind of talking about this already. Emotions are treated as taboo, so to speak, and there is a lot of shame around it. Embarrassment around it. Who again going back to your clients, the ones that have outlets, people to talk to? Who are those people generally? The reason I asked this question is because some people are just they feel like they have no options, nobody to talk to. I know who are the first people they should go to. I do understand that it's circumstantial. It's not gonna be the same for

spk_0:   35:00
everybody. It's gonna be the same. Generalized. Yeah. So are you talking about somebody who is coming to see me, or in general, in someone who's just struggling with mental health desk or something going on? But I'm not sure what it is, That's correct. If you're lucky and you have healthy supports in your life and that can be friends, family, um, your partner, those people, those If those people can be in your corner and, um, listen to you and hear you and you feel comfortable enough to confide in them, I would say those people, um, if you have a family doctor that you have a good relationship with, um, they're also a really good I call it your nucleus. So if you have a good nucleus of people in your life or tribe, kind of use those words interchangeably. Those are your That's your support network. Those of the people you should go and talk to you. If you don't have that, it's about we'll probably coming and seeing a professional like myself, and then you you build one you create one? I was serious when I said earlier. We're wired for connection, all of us. And so you don't have to be. You don't have to have a huge nucleus, a huge network. But you need to have a few people who that you can turn to and talk Thio when life gets

spk_1:   36:18
hard and messy. Right? So we've used this term a couple of times. Proactive. Yeah, we This is one of those topics that does come up again and get whether it's physical health, mental health, psychological, what have you. But we wait until we're at the brink.

spk_0:   36:38
I know,

spk_1:   36:38
right? And I'm sure you experience that all the time. Yeah. How do we begin to get ahead of it? And when should we actually be going to see a professional?

spk_0:   36:48
Right. I love that question. Because, um, you're right. People often come in when things are really bad, and I love to tell people and teach them. I want you to come in when they're kind of sort of starting to feel like they're off. And and not everybody has the same level of self awareness. If they have lots of it, they're gonna catch I call it catching yourself on the fall, right. So if you're going to catch yourself on the fallen, you've got lots of awareness. You're gonna get yourself a little bit sooner. Does that make sense? Versus if I'm not really self aware and maybe a little bit foggy? I'm probably going to be closer to that kind of tipping point of that that drop and not catch myself. So again, I'm coming back to the functionality of your life. If your sleep is off of your appetite is off. If you're noticing that your mood is a little bit shifted or you're more impatient than you normally are, if you're not engaging in the things that used to bring you joy, joy or happiness, those would be some big red flags to be paying attention to. Um, the other distinction that I make is sometimes wheat. Not sometimes we we can have situational stuff that impacts our mood. So if someone passes away that we love, naturally we're going to show signs of depression. That doesn't mean I'm depressed. That's, you know, acute grief in the moment. Um, so I don't always just land on a diagnosis based on that Because I want to know what else has been going on for somebody. So just because you are crying every day and can't get out of bed and not eating well, um doesn't mean you're depressed. It means, well, you're still not grieving. Stage of of the loss that you've experienced. You see what I mean? So So? So someone has to have a little bit more. I would say awareness to catch themselves before they really drop. But if you can, That's I guess that's what I would be hinging on

spk_1:   38:44
again, going back to those definitions, right? That also takes the understanding that there is a difference between grief and depression. The big definitions between the two. Great. Yes. And if I take just one thing away from this conversation, it's going to be that there is a massive difference between mood and emotion. That's yeah, that's huge. Here. I want to go back to something you said earlier when we were talking a boat communicating with kids. You mentioned the term emotional regulation? Yeah. Can we talk a little bit about that? Left? How does one regulate their emotions?

spk_0:   39:20
Okay, so there's a big pop word in psychology and out there these days about mindfulness. Mindfulness is all about the now it's about being very, very present. Emotions have the ability to take us out of the now or the opposite. We also, when we experience strong emotions, seldomly. Are we being cognitive about it? That's when I come back to reactionary versus Responsive. So self regulation emotional regulation lives over here. Where were responding to an emotion. So to do that sometimes and I literally teach people this when you have a strong emotions, you're feeling something very, very profound. I usually go with anger because that's the one that's out there that could. I'll speak to that in a second, Um, that if I'm feeling angry, I get people to do the opposite. So you really want to be activated in your parasympathetic nervous system. So that's diaphragmatic breathing, sitting down in a chair, getting, you know, kind of the the belly breaths, um, and and then once you're there, once you've been able to regulate or sorry control your heart rate and your breathing, you can then tap into the cognitive side of things and say What's going on here? What's going on for me. What? How have I been hooked? What was I triggered by? Get curious about it. Could do more with it, and you can regulate yourself. You can be able to have a hard, strong emotion, but it doesn't get messy. So with anger, I love talking about it because there's nothing wrong with it. It's normal. We all have it. Every single one of us experiences anger because that's over here with uncomfortable emotions. The problem with anger is what we do with it. That makes sense, us. So I can be angry. All of us get that. But it's what we do with it or what we don't do with it. And most people grew up in homes and families and watched it being managed an unhealthy way. So then we observation. A learning is huge for kids and as well as for adults. Then we take that forward and that's how we engage. So I love talking about that as well and helping people regulate themselves when they are angry. I

spk_1:   41:33
think it's very important to make the distinction that when you say regulate, you don't mean avoid no right

spk_0:   41:42
good distinction.

spk_1:   41:44
I think that is very, very important to say, because it can be. Maybe proceed that way. Right? Um, by controlling our emotions, choose to either confront them or avoid them. That's not the case. There is a very fine medium. You can You can you Not necessarily. Great. But you are. The reason I say gray is you're you're doing your best to control something that is relatively uncontrollable threat. Okay, Going back to kids. Yeah, I I love that you're so passionate about communicating with, um, Now, I am curious. We like to make the male female distinction. Yes, there are male behaviors, female behaviors, and I assume that that also correlates to male emotions and female emotions. Right. How do we get away from that? Because emotions are emotions.

spk_0:   42:41
Yeah, we all have them. Whether we're female or male, we all have them. So I love this question and I babble on for hours about it, but I'll try to pieces sink, um, males and we're getting better. But we're nowhere near right. Where I want them to be. Are generally socialized to keep their emotions in check. You guys are socialized to not have as many or if you have them. Don't show them right, boys, Don't cry. Suck it up. But you have one emotion that you're very much socialized to express. And what do you think that one is? Nature. Anger? Yeah, Yeah, Nailed it. Females, if I can be very primitive And this goes way back in my like early psych class days going in the archives, we are wired to have babies. We are wired to be emotionally attuned, very much so so that we can hear and understand our babies. Babies only communicate through emotion. That's it. So understanding your baby's cry allows us to respond to them. So females and I'm being very global. And it's not this way Now. We're getting better. Females are socialized to have a lot of them, and they are socialized that it's acceptable to express them. Um, I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm just It's, I guess, an observation. I think the way that we move around away from that is platforms like this, where we're talking about it more, um, educating people about the usefulness of emotion. If we understand it from what What I said earlier about it being data, then it's not this elusive. Weird, uh, internal Want emotions are if you have them your week, which don't get me going on that, um but understanding it is data. Then we move into a position where it's very, very empowering where we can have this discussion. Males and females. About what? What emotions are my experiencing right now. And I think if we can start doing more of that and understanding emotions from that place, then we can make an even bigger shift in mental health

spk_1:   45:01
going back to mood in motion. We I'm not suggesting that we need need to change our emotions. If you're sad that your son, if you're going through a period where your mood as as as positive, that's okay. Yep. But what are the things that we couldn't do? What are some habits that we can undertake or employ to influence our mood and emotions in a positive manner, whether it's putting yourself, you know, surrounding yourself with positive people or what have you suggest?

spk_0:   45:34
Yeah, so have a really big, ah phrase that I use a lot. Both of my professional life of my personal life is what you think about you bring about, so be very careful about where you land your thoughts on a regular basis because it has a lot of power in your life habits, though that create a healthy mental health. Um, sleep hygiene. We talked about earlier, um, eating regularly and eating healthy. Um, having healthy supports in your life, people you can go to exercise huge. I work with a lot of people who will come and see me, and they'll say, Cinder, whatever we d'oh, I don't want to be medicated and I'll say, Okay, well, that's fine. But I might pop put that in my back pocket for down the road if we have to have that conversation. But I'll say then you better be moving a lot because exercise is the number one way to combat mental health. Naturally moving 20 minutes a day every day. I have a phrase I used in practices. Well, to get over your head. Get

spk_1:   46:38
out of

spk_0:   46:38
your house. Um, so that stuff and then fun. What do you do for fun? What do you What do you doing on a regular basis that brings you joy and without it sounding super cheesy? But what fills you up? What is soulful in your life that makes you feel like this is awesome because we get one shot at this crazy thing called Life. And if we're not having a lot of fun along the way, that's a problem. So it's a combination of, like, some of those physical things, but and then relational stuff. And then what are your hobbies? What are the things that you love to do on a regular basis? So that would be my starting space for somebody.

spk_1:   47:15
I like that a lot, and it's a good reminder as well, though that fun is subjective. Fun fun is going to be different for a person to person, and it doesn't have to be this grand activity. No, you don't have to hit the mountains just to have fun. It could be something as simple as doing a crossword, I assume

spk_0:   47:36
there you go. Yep, that's it is and it's It's a combination of what gets you out of your your head or your stress and what's lighthearted and just something that isn't complicated. I will openly admit I have this huge obsession with Ellen. I think she's an amazing human. We're

spk_1:   47:58
in a tiger,

spk_0:   47:58
right, perfect because, she says, at the end of every single one of her shows, Be kind to one another and I love that. But I also love the little games she plays with all of her guests on there, and that's sometimes that's what I do for fun. I just watch a whole bunch of, like, silly little element clips because it's funny and it's lighthearted and it isn't this heavy, hard stuff that life throws us. But yes, you're right. It doesn't have to be this big, grandiose thing that you do that's for fun. Like go to Disneyland Disneyland. It could be just what's some small activity for 15 minutes that you're doing every day that that fill you up that make you laugh that I don't think we laugh enough? I think humor is something that's really, really important that we move away from right now too often. If you were really serious, I think this economy is bringing on a lot of hardship, and I'm not saying don't address it. I'm saying the opposite, address it, but park it sometimes and remind yourself that life is also really awesome and really fun. So don't always live over here and dealing with the hardship that life can throw at us.

spk_1:   49:08
I couldn't tell that. Aye. You're very, very passionate about this. But I also sensed that year very optimistic as well. You're getting more optimistic. A boat, just human beings in general. Would you say that at large? We're progressing in the right direction when it comes to about the whole

spk_0:   49:27
Yes, I d'oh, I believe that we are. I know it sounds so cliche, but I believe that we're talking about it more and we're we're sharing it openly with each other. I go down, Thio, uh, speak at it's called Mommy Connections Moms group in the south of Calgary and I speak

spk_1:   49:49
you know them.

spk_0:   49:49
Oh, perfect. Shout out, Um, and I love going down there. And the more we talk about it, the more we talk about the real illness of motherhood and having babies and the messiness, the the group of women that connect with each other there because it's really and it's raw, and they're like, Oh, great, We can talk about how awful this is. I mean, we love our kids joking, but, um, it helps to move away from that stigma and it helps someone feel like they're not alone. They're not the only one suffering. And so I think doing more of this, I think, um, yeah, they're they're a lot of things need to change, but we're for sure, going in that direction.

spk_1:   50:33
It's really community, right?

spk_0:   50:35
It's community

spk_1:   50:36
that it's sometimes it's kind of a buzz word, but community at large is very, very important, and the community is a simple isjust. People who are like you. Yeah, right, who don't necessarily share the same say philosophies, But they're going through the same

spk_0:   50:48
things. Yeah, and it's funny because, um, I get it all the time as soon as somebody if I'm at a Christmas party or meeting the neighbors, whatever. Soon as somebody knows what I do for a living, it's awesome when they come forward and they say I have a quick question like, Well, not on duty right now, but okay. But I love it because if you feel comfortable enough to come forward and talk about it, I'm going to talk about it, and I'm gonna answer any question. And so I think when Yeah, I just have such a passion for it and I have a passion for helping other people and bringing forward that you don't have to be suffering in silence anymore. And you don't have to think that you're the only one that's going through something hard.

spk_1:   51:30
One of our previous guests. That's something that I thought was so profound. He said That comparison is the thief of joy. Mm. So going back to social media, we are always in a state, a habitual state of looking at other other people what they're doing their accomplice accomplishments or what is perceived to be their accomplishments. Yes, that's what they put out there. Yeah. Um, how did we get away from that? How to beep ourselves in a position where we just don't care what other people's air people are doing and what they're accomplishing. Just more focusing on the self.

spk_0:   52:05
Wow, that is a really good question. Um, how do we get away from it? My love to swear on the show you can

spk_1:   52:14
have You'd like

spk_0:   52:15
such a people that the beauty with aging is my give a shit factor has gone way down the

spk_1:   52:22
earliest Where, by the way

spk_0:   52:23
Okay, good. I could drop another one, but I won't shelf. I want, um, but yeah, So it's like teaching someone how to do that and focusing more on themselves and less on what other people. Because, let me tell you, in my practice, the ones that show up that look perfect there you've usually got some huge stuff going on. So that picture that you see when you're on Facebook or instagram or snapshot or whatever, I would invite people tohave a bit of a different lens and say, Is that really what's going on? And maybe not to worry so much about what other people are doing. Spend more time focusing on yourself and harvesting your own relationships and and your own habits and progression in your own life, and you move away from how much that matters. Does that make sense? It's really it's a really hard thing to do. In fact, I was talking about that with another professional the other days, like how? How do we help people, you social media in a healthier way and less exactly as like a thief of joy? When we look at someone else's seemingly perfect life and we feel smaller about ourselves, that's a problem like I've I've literally given the homework. Too many clients of mine social media cleanse for 30 whole days. I don't want you on there. I don't want you looking at it. I want you to take it off your phone and see how you feel after 30 days and again, I'm not saying it's all bad, cause there's some stuff that that I follow and I love and it's great and it's But it's stuff that when I look at it, it doesn't make me feel small or doesn't make me feel like I'm not progressing. So that would be another invitation for folks is to whatever you have. Whoever you're following make sure is that bringing you more joy or less in your life. And if the answer is less, get it off like Period. I have, ah, kind of, ah, very firm line with that. And so if it isn't something that makes you feel good about yourself, are contributing to your own wellness. Remove that period

spk_1:   54:29
100%. Yet I believe that so much of it comes down to perspective. Yes, my perspective. It's so, so huge. We don't get enough of it. We don't think enough about it. I'm sure you know who Gary Vaynerchuk is. One of things that he says that I ice fully fully live each and every single day is with the mindset in philosophy that if you're living in North America, you're in the 99th percentile. Yes, in terms of quality of life. Yeah. I mean, yes, we still go through things, but are you eating every day D A shelter over your head? There's a lot of other things that could be played in your life, you know? Are you Are you able to move? Do you have the option to move them? The freedom for the majority of of us, the answer is yes. So perspective can talk a little bit about that And how that ties into the emotions. I know that's kind of Ah, off that kind of question. But

spk_0:   55:30
yeah, So just perspective in general. And how does that influence? So I'm gonna come back to the phrase I said earlier about what we think about we bring about. And so if you think about this for a quick second, it isn't random that you wake up in the morning and you have some healthy thoughts. I'm gonna have a great day today. I'm gonna focus on things that that I'm grateful for him. Bring me joy. So you leave the house and you get a string of green lights on your way to work. You get to the office door and someone's there to open it for you. Um, your favorite cup of coffee is sitting on the corner of your desk because you're you're teammate. Left it for you. Whatever that I believe is the lens that we can choose toe have to change how we feel. So perspective being Where's my lens? Where's where my thoughts, where do I go? Vs I hit Snooze, my cat is sleeping on the floor and I tripped over her and my coffee maker. Well, that sucks today and I hit all red lights on the way to work and I get there and I'm irritated and same same that my lenses looking at everything's that that's not working everything that is wrong or bad or whatever. But both of those come down to how we think about things and where we where we decide to put our lens because that like I said earlier and I'm, um, old enough to say this that life is hard and life is messy and all of us get given something that we need to work through. And we can either choose to play victim and there's no growth there. There's no growth in laying down and saying Poor mean why is this happening? There's growth when you say what is this a supposed to teach me? Where am I going with us? Why is this showing up in my life? It's showing up to teach me something, and I got a look at it, and when you can look at it and have the thought perspective that no matter what, I'm gonna be okay, you will be OK. If you have the thought in perspective that I don't know if I can do this and I might break into might crack and may not work out. It's probably gonna go that way too. So I could spend half a Knauer talking about this because I really believe and I'm I'm I'm not, um immune from hardship myself. But where do you want to put your lens? How do you want to look at something and are you and again. Your people, your tribe, your nucleus. When things are hard, do you have people around you who are going to say? You know what? I believe in you. And you can get through this even if you don't think you can at that time, right? Yeah.

spk_1:   58:15
As you explain that I can to see that there's so much correlation between perspective and mindfulness. Yes, because unless you are present, are you gonna notice that you had a string of green lights? Thank. Or that your your your coworker left you a cup of coffee? Yeah. You may not even notice that's happening, right? Yes. And I think mindfulness is one of those things that is becoming more more difficult with technology. You know what? There are a lot of people and sometimes myself, where I get separation anxiety when I don't have my moon next to me. So definitely it is tough, but we will get there.

spk_0:   58:55
We will get there.

spk_1:   58:57
So it sounds like you are just chock full of clients. Now, with clients nowadays, you're doing a lot of different things. You're doing keynote speeches. What is next on your radar? What is next

spk_0:   59:08
on the horizon? Oh, part of me was, like, ambivalent about sharing it, but I Well, So, um, in the fall, I was invited to apply for a Ted talks on, and so that application has been submitted. Um, so I'm waiting on that. Which the reason why I'm so excited for it if I get this opportunity is I get to share with thousands of people, um, my beliefs around emotions and mental health and where where we're going with it. So that's a thing over here. Um, I'm also working on, um, furthering my education and write write quite ready to share that that piece of where I'm going. But I really, um I want to start taking this whole myth about mental health and kind of what happens behind closed doors and bringing more light to it and sharing it with more people. And, um, I see myself doing that. Still in my practice, I don't think I'm going to give that up for a long time. I know some psychologists who have moved away from the clinical work and they're doing other things, but I still want to do that. That's where my heart throb is working. One on one with people, but the other piece is moving into more of a public platform and talking more about it. Um, coming in doing this, um, and a few other areas in Canada that I will be going to and speaking at big events. That's kind of where I'm going for 2020.

spk_1:   1:0:44
That's great. So first, I want to say that not only do you deserve to be on that stage uh, Ted X Y Y c I'm looking at you. I want to take them. They would be doing the audience a disservice if they didn't put you on that stage. Because this is such on important topic to talk about for so many reasons. There are so many layers to it. Based on what we've talked about today and in other conversations, you are the right person for it. You are very, very passionate about it. And with something this large, you do require a very passionate force behind that. Yeah. Thank you. So that being said somebody's looking for your service is yes. How do they find you?

spk_0:   1:1:31
Um so my practices Smith Psychological service is I have a website they can access. Um, there's ah Forman there, they can fill out. There's my contact information. Email Phone number? Um, yeah, it's pretty easy. They can Google me. The, um, psychology today is a a magazine where lots of psychologists are on their, Um, I invite people to really not just me. I don't want to just speak for my own practice. But one of the most important things about your therapeutic journey is your relationship with the person you're gonna work with having really good report being a good match. And a good fit is so key If you're going to absorb the information, If you're gonna take home tools and learn how to do that, you need to be with somebody who you feel comfy with. And so it doesn't need to be obviously me. But any anybody who is seeking therapy, I strongly invite that to be a really important piece. And and there's a lot of us out there, and there's a lot of us who offer a free 10 to 15 minute phone consultation to say, kind of get it a general feel or vibe for that connection. But, um, yeah, I would strongly invite people to do that.

spk_1:   1:2:43
So, um knowledge, of course, is very important. But report almost precedes it. Yes, so for people looking for you, it's cinder. C i N D E r. Yep, it's not intuitive. No, And it's so funny

spk_0:   1:2:57
because I get all the times, like, Is that short for Cinderella? Like I love that, but

spk_1:   1:3:01
know that it's all good. I

spk_0:   1:3:06
people ask me all the time like, No, it is not

spk_1:   1:3:09
s o to make us a little bit easier on people. I know Google is a big thing, but fortunately, or unfortunately, people do look for service is on social media as well. What kind of credentials are they looking for? Like do you have? Ah,

spk_0:   1:3:23
so what's really important for a kind of a logic and a finance reason purpose? I don't know if I'm warning that right is if you have benefits. If you have benefits and coverage through your place of employment, they recognize registered psychologists, which is what I am, um, four coverage. They do not cover mental health clinicians or counselors or social workers, or, if they do cover social workers, that one's new. So, generally speaking, if you're going to access psychological service's you want someone who has a resident registered Ecologist Credential. We have very unique, specialized training that, um, other counselors or therapists do not have. So that would be a really big qualifier.

spk_1:   1:4:10
Would it ever be Britain or a P short short, huh?

spk_0:   1:4:13
Aren't we? Would do our psych. So our period ps y ch was perfect. Yes.

spk_1:   1:4:21
So if an individual is living on evolved life, Yeah, What does that look like?

spk_0:   1:4:27
Oh, I love this question. Their living evolved life, their self aware. They're taking very good care of themselves. Holy physically, Emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. Um and they're having a lot of fun along the way.

spk_1:   1:4:45
That is beautiful. Thank you so much for being on the show. You're welcome. Thank you for

spk_0:   1:4:49
having me.

spk_1:   1:4:50
Of course, that was just just chock full of great information. So thank you so much.

spk_0:   1:4:55
You ask very good

spk_1:   1:4:56
questions. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks for joining us for this episode of my evolved life. Guys, if you found any value at all and I'm sure you did make sure to subscribe to the podcast. If you have any questions about this or any other episode, or you want to be a guest or recommend a guest sent us a message on Instagram Facebook or Lincoln at evolution. Bien. Oh, if you think your friends would enjoy this podcast, please make sure to share it with them until next time. Live your evolved life.

What is mental health?
The impact of social media on mental health
Comfortable vs. uncomfortable emotions
How do you start to better understand your emotions?
The difference between mood and emotion
What is psychology really like?
What are the tell tale signs that someone needs help?
How to communicate with children about mental health
Where does the stigma around emotions come from?
Who are the first people to talk to when you feel like you need help?
How do we get ahead of mental health and when is the right time to seek help?
How do you regulate your emotions?
Can we stop characterizing emotions as "male" or "female"?
What are the things you can do to positively influence your mental health?
How do we stop caring what other people do and achieve?
Does perspective influence mental health?